Presidential Memes

So if you have a facebook, twitter, instagram, or any type of social media, you've probably heard of memes. Awhile ago I did a post on the presidential election and the memes we can take from it. Well now that the Cheeto puff known as Trump has somehow been elected, we have more memes!

Now saltiness is an understatement when I heard Trump won, and I'm sure many others share my feelings. Maybe this post will lighten your day.

It's the end of the 2016 presidential race and the people of the United States hated all the candidates so much that nobody voted. The government is in a panic trying to figure out what to do to decide who the next president will be. Finally, Barack Obama comes up with an idea: a literal presidential race. The three candidates would run a lap around the White House and the person with the best time would become president. Bernie Sanders goes first, but being as old as he is, he takes about 24 minutes. Trump goes next and arrives with a time of 14:26. Hillary Clinton goes last, running as fast as she can, trampling the flowers and shrubs in her way in an effort to beat Trump's time. She finally crosses the finish line at just under ten minutes.
"Aha!" She exclaims, "That must be some kind of record!"
"I don't think so," says Obama, "Bush did 9:11"

A plethora of memes are just a google search away! Here are a few of the best memes I've found of the presidential election:

I also recommend watching two of Dave Chappelle's SNL specials on youtube. Here's two links:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--IS0XiNdpk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHG0ezLiVGc

As Obama said, the sun will arise rise in the morning, so let's stay hopeful that Trump doesn't screw up. And remember, just because someone voted for Trump doesn't mean they're racist sexist bigots. They have legitimate worries as well. There's enough hate in this world already, so let's be happy and enjoy some memes.

Curved

I'm not quite sure which is worse. Being left on *read* or being hit with a "K." In my opinion, getting curved can be a really annoying thing. Urban dictionary defines curved as "To reject or Stand up. Curvin -means the same thing except it means your doing the rejecting or the standing up of someone"

I'm going to be using the term curved in a much broader sense. For this post, I'll be using it to describe being "rejected" in text form. Now it doesn't even have to be someone you're trying to pull. It could just be a friend you're talking to. Basically, if someone curves you in a text, it means they probably don't know how to respond and/or don't want to respond but are being polite. 

Example:

"Yo bro I'm throwing a party tonight"
"O"
"It's gonna be rly fun"
"K"
"You gonna come through?"
*read*

Most of the time I try to carry the conversation, but it just isn't fun to text someone who repeatedly replies with one letter/word.

As for the urban dictionary definition of curved, I guess you could be texting 'bae' and they hit you with the "oh, that's cool" or "lol" or just any phrase that kills the vibe. If they follow it with a question then it's cool with me, but if they continue with their zero effort replies and force me to carry the conversation, I usually get outa there real quick.

Anyone else have people that reply with short phrases/put no effort into their texts?

Trump vs Hillary

So before I start this post my cousin bought the url www.votefortrumppence.com feel free to check it out.

Speaking of Trump and Hillary, this post will try to point out both the humor and the salt that this presidential election produces.

So what has this election done for us as a nation? Does our future look bright? Well quoting our lord and savior Donald Trump, People who see a bright future under either Trump or Hillary are "WRONG!"
And though I fear for the health of our nation, the presidential debates make for some great memes. I especially enjoy using snapchat filters on the candidates.

Also Trump's attempts at avoiding questions during debates reminds me of a teenage boy being interrogated on who he has a crush on. Just listening to him reminds me of the average teenage boy, and just like a teenage boy, Trump curves the question by switching the topic to Isis.

Girl: So who do you like?
Trump: I like lots of girls, the best girls. No one likes girls more than me.
Girl: So who is it..
Trump: You know who hates girls? Isis. I will destroy Isis.

Now before I go any further, In my opinion I think Hillary would be a better president. Plus she'll be the first f president, which is a great thing for women. Oops, I meant to say female, but the emale was deleted...

One thing that is quite annoying are the people who post themselves watching the debate over and over, with a caption like "I hate Trump!" Or "Trump can't be stumped!" While I find snapchat filters funny, I don't need a live commentary of your opinions on the debate. Sure I could just block them but that would be supporting Trump's idea of building a wall to keep people you don't want to see off your feed.

If you're offended, this is all just english room "talk" anyway.

"Read"

*read*

Whether you're pouring your heart out to someone or just saying "What's up", *read* is always a dreaded thing to see. Replying to someone is common courtesy. If someone leaves you on read it's like trying to start a conversation with someone only to have them run away. 

Example:

"Hey! When's the movie night?"

*read*

"Yo, what's the math homework"

*read*

"Only losers leave people on read"

*doesn't even see your message*

"Only losers choose to not even read the message"

*blocks you*

This happened to me recently:

If you don't know, the empty arrow means they opened your message and didn't reply. 

Maybe I need new friends.

What's even worse is when someone ignores your message but replies to a message in a group chat. And then they realize you're in the group chat as well and that's when they decide to reply.

Especially when you know the other person is online because Facebook says they're online. Like they just posted about their 10th basic Starbucks cappuccino but they won't reply to you.

Or when you're in a group chat and you ask a question but everyone ignores you...

Sometimes I get fed up and become passive aggressive and just say "K good talk".

Not pointing any fingers at any particular people and/or groups. Just salty stuff that has happened to me recently.

Salt of the Earth

Not too long ago I tried some Smoked Ghost pepper salt for fun. Here's a video of my salty reaction:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfhS2rszJxY

Anyway, this post will largely cover salt producers in social situations, such as social media or in real life.

One thing that really grinds my salt is when people mumble and then say "Never mind" when you ask them what they said. Because now you actually want to know what they said and they won't tell you. My friends and I call this "baiting". The person baits you into the conversation, reels you in, and then stops mid way. 

Or when they mumble, you ask them to repeat what they said, and they continue to mumble. Which means you have to act like you understood them otherwise they'll get self conscious and say "Never mind", but acting like you understood them when you really didn't also irritates me, so there really is no way to win. Sure, you could continue to ask them to repeat themselves over and over, but that becomes necessarily embarrassing. Surely some of you guys are guilty of baiting and/or have been baited.

This can happen over social media as well. When I say social media, I largely mean messaging apps like messenger, kik, iMessage, etc. One of my friends in particular is quite guilty of baiting. In fact, they probably get a kick out of baiting because they do it so much. I would say their quite good baiting, even a master at baiting, if you will. Anyway, here's an example of baiting over social media:

Friend: The craziest thing just happened!

Me: What is it

Friend: What never mind, I can't tell you

Me: Why not

Friend: It's a secret

Throw in a couple of emoji's and you have a prime example of baiting. You can probably tell why this gets annoying.

Does anyone else have these moments? I can't be the only one. If you have other examples of baiting causing salty moments feel free to let me know in the comments.

Thanks for reading.

Never Lucky

I'm trying to think of a name to call my readers. Maybe the salty spittoon? Assalt squad? Salty dogs? If you have any names let me know. 

DISCLAIMER: Okay, this post is gonna be about Hearthstone, which is a video game. If you don't like video games feel free to ignore this blog post. I'll try to make the next one more to a general audience.

Anyway, one of the largest sources of salty moments that I have had are from Hearthstone. "Hearthstone is a free-to-play digital strategy card game that anyone can enjoy. Players choose one of nine epic Warcraft heroes to play as, and then take turns playing cards from their customizable decks to cast potent spells, use heroic weapons or abilities, or summon powerful minions to crush their opponent." One thing the game doesn't speak of is the ridiculous amount of randomness (also known as RNG) in the game. For example, there are parts of the game that rely solely on random outcomes. They can be amazing, decent, or salt-inducing game-losing rage-causing outcomes. Most of the time, the randomness doesn't affect the game too much and nobody is terribly salty. But when I get that specific 1% chance outcome I was hoping to avoid, you can see why I would be mildly annoyed.

Some people say my salt isn't justified because it is just a game. Well, I am naturally competitive. So when I play a game I obviously want to win. And if that win is literally stolen from me because of a random outcome, I feel as though the salt is justified.

To put it in a better sense for those that don't play Hearthstone, imagine playing a sport. Football, basketball, volleyball, whatever. Now imagine you're absolutely demolishing the opponent. However, there is a new rule where the opponent can roll a dice. If they role a 6 they automatically win the game. If they don't you win. This may seem fine until you get a win stolen from you. And then the salt flows.

Of course, it's also a great feeling if you're the one getting the 1 in 6 and winning a game, but we ignore those cases because we can.

Sorry for the post that is directed at a specific audience. Just thought I would talk about a big salt producer in my life. Thanks for reading I guess.

Don't be so salty

Hopefully, you've noticed that my blog is titled "Don't be so salty".  If you're one of those people that uses Urban Dictionary to define terms, I'll do it for you. According to Urban Dictionary, "Salty" is defined as "[being] pissed, upset". Saltiness can originate from many different things, including video games, sports, social life, the list goes on. Being "Salty" usually has negative connotations, but if you come to terms with your inner salt, it can be a thing of humor.

Now the title "Don't be so salty" suggests that I will be lecturing you on your emotions. Being a teenager, I doubt I have the qualifications to help you with such things. But maybe reading my blog would be a great way to come to terms with your salty side, and maybe you'll laugh once or twice along the way as well. (Please laugh I need the confidence boost)

I'm sure everyone has had a salty moment in their life. Think for a moment, back to a moment where you were particularly upset. Perhaps it was from sitting on the bench for all of a basketball game (Me). Or maybe it was from getting particularly unlucky in a game based on luck (Also me). Or maybe it's from something as basic as not having any ice cream left in the freezer (Yup, also me). Now, these don't seem to be very valid reasons to be pissed, upset, or salty. Well that's right! Most of the time, I use the term salty for many different feelings, such as being irritated.

This blog will mainly be about my salty moments, and how I turned these into funny memories.